Characters

My cast of characters:

Angelou: My wonderful dog who lived a good life chasing squirrels, harrassing cows, barking at trucks and herding people. She went too soon.

Dokey: My younger sister who has the best throw-your-head-back laugh. No, we are not twins. Watching her be a mom to Finn is one of my life’s greatest gifts- she excels at it and totally amazes me.

Dot & Dash: My cats. They are an inseparable brother and sister duo. Dash thinks he is a dog. Dot likes to eat sweaters and socks.

Double B: My brother-in-law. Mr. Fix It disc golfer who makes the best french toast. Ever. He has been known to quote entire King Missile songs and bust a move to some hip hop grooves. Amazing father to Finn and all around spectacular guy.

Dumpling: He’s the Duckie to my Andie, the Harry to my Sally, the Clinton to my Stacy. He reads the instruction manuals so I don’t have to. Or at least he did until I up and moved to Seattle. He’s married to a fantastic lady, Jersey Girl, and I couldn’t be happier for them.

Finn: My adorable nephew who calls me Tee Tee and who is the light of my life. LOVE HIM TO PIECES.

Jenny Two Times: One of my best friends who lives in Portland. She’s infamous for needing things repeated (hence the nickname), losing her keys when they are in her hand, and being a human jukebox.

Jersey Girl: She’s Dumpling’s main squeeze- a total riot, and so smart and lovely.

Kaply: She was funnier than you and she left this life too soon.

James Dean & Natalie Wood: My dear friends that I introduced (go me!) who are now married. A gifted writer, James Dean is a former boyfriend turned BFF and his wife, Natalie Wood, is the sweetest person I’ve ever met.

Mom: Woman who birthed me, puts up with my shenanigans and still thinks I’m great. She moved to the Emerald City with her Muppet-like golden retriever, Oliver, to be closer to us. She’s the one who will remind me to wear underpants because my vagina could catch a cold (true story!), make soup from scratch that I will be scared to eat (I don’t know if the entire fridge contents should go in the soup, Mom), and always come to my rescue.

Mr. Darcy: My nerdburger, smart ass, artist boyfriend fiance husband(!) who has a discernible east coast accent and eyes that are hazel, not brown. He consistently proves that chivalry is not dead which makes me very swoony. Plus, he likes me just as I am, hence his nickname. “But the thing is, um, what I’m trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.” -Mark Darcy. Thank you, Bridget Jones’s Diary.

Otis: Our Catahoula Leopard/Australian Shepherd puppy who currently enjoys barking at nothing, humping the legs of visitors, eating sticks or when stuck in doors, drywall, and terrorizing the cats.

RaeRae & RunRun: My dear friends who continue to live in CA when they belong in Seattle. He’s my Irish brother who eats vegan and runs for fun. She’s my South African soul sister with the heart of a lion.

RayLo: My confidante who will beat your ass at trivia and knows everything I don’t about celebrity gossip (that’s a lot). She should have her photo next to the definition of “snarky”.

Supple: My sarcastic, know-it-all-about-wine, tattooed friend who knows everything there is to know about wine. Don’t be deceived by her beauty, she’s actually a 12 year old boy inside.

Tomato: My first boyfriend/my gay BFF who lives in L.A. with his adorable pup Gus. He is the person who will always call me on my shit. He’s got a big laugh and a bigger heart.